is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
