i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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