Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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