I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
