It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize