He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
be right there i have to get my cape
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
