Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
