The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
