okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
