it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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