Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
