i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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