i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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