i don't like sucking hair
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize