Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
