dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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