the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
