So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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