I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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