I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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