Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
