come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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