So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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