The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
