I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
