***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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