i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
