the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Randomize
