That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
