If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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