things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize