it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you made out with another girl for some wings
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
