I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
