Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
