I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
