like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
