my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
