He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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