i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I will be naked everywhere
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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