He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
