Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
