some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
