We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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