Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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