Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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