if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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