Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
