"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize