The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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