in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
