I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
This is classic penis vs brain.
Two words: blizzard sex
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
