I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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