I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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