Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
