I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
