It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
