is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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