im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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