I wannas sexs uuuuu
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You left your phone here
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