Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
